Today I spent half my day spring (or winter) cleaning my bedroom. Already a fairly neat room, this meant going through cupboards and examining everything with a harsh do I really need this? viewpoint. Being a bit of a closet hippy, the reason behind the big clean-up was to shift old non-physical energy, by clearing out physical junk. Perhaps all in my head, but if it works, does it matter if it’s a placebo?
It’s funny the emotion attached to “stuff”. An old metalhead t-shirt reminded me of the concert I went to with my brother, one of the most beautiful people I know. It also reminded me of my son, a bit of a metalhead himself, and the times when we used to spend more time together. We still get along, but he’s a teenager now, busy doing his own thing. Ebbs and flows.
Next I came across an old jewellery box. A necklace from a past lover serves a reminder of the fleetingness of words and feelings. Old watches, earrings, and brightly coloured bracelets I purchased perhaps 10 years ago, bearing no resemblance to anything I’d ever want to put on my body now. Who was I then? I don’t even know that person.
A huge pile of letters in the bottom drawer never sent. Letters written to others, and to myself. Between the sheets of paper I find the occasional envelope I’ve scribbled on, and surprise myself with the clarity. It seems I can write far more profound insights in two lines on the back of an old Telstra bill, than I can on reams and reams of paper.
As I remove the old clutter, some thoughts gently surface.
I left parts of me behind I didn’t intend to, decades ago. I’ve grown and uncovered new parts of myself, too. Took some massive steps backwards, and massive steps forward. How far did I actually travel, in that great distance of time?
The thought occurs to me that I could have progressed to where I am with a lot more ease, a lot less struggle. I think I’ll move forward like that; with ease. Clearly, my inner closet hippy is on to something with this cleaning idea. I wonder what lessons the bathroom has in store?